Saturday, March 18, 2017


I went to look for a black tank top today. Here were the requirements: It had to be black. It had to cover my bra.

I drove to the mall, I walked in and was so distracted that I immediately felt anxious—so many things! Is that an Aveda store? I love the smell of their products! Godiva? Those truffles are really good—but I can now get Godiva at Kohl’s so it is not as precious as when it was only available at Macys during Christmas. 

Oh no…the kiosk guys! They are so aggressive! Ahh, they are coming after me with little spritzers and cards and packets and who knows what else—Please, get away from me, I don’t care if you are going to give me a million damn dollars, you are coming at me with an aggressive smile and I feel very uncomfortable! 

Crabtree and Evelyn? Doesn’t my mom love that place? Should I get her a gift now and save it for later? Abercrombie and Fitch? That is still around? Teavana. Oh I wish I knew the name of that crackhead tea I once had at that British lady’s house—Golden Monkey? Something that made me feel like I was high on something and that I could float on air and have brilliant conversations. 

Forever 21. Oooh. I like to look in there just to get a feel of what is going on in culture. Well, apparently, cut off Def Leppard and Guns n Roses shirts are going on in culture. My ninth grade wardrobe is literally on mannequins.

Walk into Zara. The place is an absolute hellhole of polyester, on racks that made no sense. Nothing by color or style, just basically Goodwill, or a garage sale. Nice sales girls though.

Victoria's Secret. Gay guy helped me. I wanted some sleep shorts in a cute color. I said I didn’t want 'ball-crusher' shorts, I like to put my knee up while I slept. He looked at me funny. I told him I thought they had only butt-ugly colors available that day, like a the puke rust color—where was the violet and neon pink? Turns out he was wearing the puke rust shirt. 

Asked the Victoria's Secret manager if they had those glorious nineties lotions like Pear Glace—she said the only once still around was Vanilla Lace. I said “The stripper one?” No comment.

So basically, after leaving the mall and looking through Home Goods, TJ Maxx and all of those stores, I have come to the conclusion that there is TOO MUCH SH*T out there. THERE ARE TOO MANY THINGS, too many choices. These things are shoved in our faces and our brains cannot compute. Well, mine can’t. 

Now, back to my laptop and AMAZON.COM....

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

"I Hate High School...Help"

Going to answer some questions for some teens today!

How do I be "tough?"

Walk tall, shoulders back. Don’t move out of the way for other people when they are walking toward you, make them move. Look people straight in the eye when they are talking to you. Don’t just talk to talk (you probably don’t, because you are seen as quiet and shy). You might have to wait, but there will be a moment where you will get to show people you are tough. It might be standing up to someone who is messing with someone else, it might be standing up for yourself, taking a stand in some way. Tough people don’t try too hard, they don’t care and they don’t appear eager to prove anything. So just wait until the opportunity presents itself.

I feel like I don't know who I am. How do I start to figure this out?

Well, you should figure out what you stand for, and what you are against. You should figure out things that comfort you (the ocean? The color green? certain music?) and things that repel you (certain smells, certain music, places, etc.) Try and figure out who you admire and why, because those traits are probably things you want to be one day. Ask yourself what makes you happy and what makes you sad. Think about places that made you feel at home. What movies do you love? Think about why. What are the messages in them? What are the feel of them? These are clues. Then you can start narrowing down what you want in the future, what kind of job you want to go into.

I messed up in high school with grades, the law, and everything else.  People are scared of me now, I have no one to talk to. How can I start over?

Okay well you are definitely going through a rough time, and it sounds like you are taking it out on other people (they could deserve it for all I know, no judgement here.) So what I would do first, is try to reign it back in, get a hold of your temper and impulses and make sure you don’t do anything that could get you arrested. That is first and foremost. Then, start thinking about the grades. Sounds like you have been distracted so you couldn’t concentrate on school for a minute there. As far as people to talk to, that will come. People might be afraid of you right now. They need to know that you are not really a bad person, and they don’t know yet. I had a terrible, terrible high school life. I thought I wouldn’t even live past it. Not only did I live past it, but I became wiser because of it. All of the stuff you are going through now will make you stronger and better, if you can get it under control. Do not give up on yourself. And if it makes you feel any better, I never saw any of the kids from my high school ever again. Maybe one or two in passing, but the rest? Nope. Made all new friends. You will make new friends when you get jobs when you are older. You will even end up with roommates and relationships from the jobs you will get in a few years. So don’t worry, this will pass.

My friends aren't inviting me to things! They did something without me...

It might not even be anything you did wrong, they are just vibing together as a little group. Sometimes people are hanging out together and say “Hey, we should go to ___ next week” and they make a plan. They don’t say “Oh wait….we forgot to invite (insert name of other friends who they still like but who weren't in the conversation that day). I wouldn’t take it as something bad. But I would start to make my own plans and invite them, or, maybe completely different friends to do things. I wouldn't sit and wait for further invitations to hang out.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

1980s Fashion!

I still love it!

I remember seeing brands like Benetton, Ton Sur Ton, Guess?, Jordache (“designer” jeans) , Sergio Valente (“designer” jeans), Sassoon (“designer” jeans), Gloria Vanderbilt (“designer” jeans), and of course the ones that are still around today as others have mentioned (Calvin Klein, etc.). Shoes: I just remember getting mine at a store called “The Wild Pair.” There were also other stores that were in fashion and all of their clothes were labled as their own brand: Contempo Casuals, Judy’s, 5 7 9. People were really into Swatch watches. Also Z Cavaricci for guys. 

Leg warmers are one of the things people think of when thinking about the 80s. I think it came from the movie “Flashdance” in 1983 and also from a singer named Pat Bentar (look on youtube for Love is a Battlefield.) They showed women wearing leotards and wearing leg warmers and the next thing you knew, they were everywhere and the kids at school had them. Oh! The biggest thing: Jane Fonda’s Workout. It was this exercise craze, and Jame Fonda was on the cover of the workout video wearing leg warmers. That was another big one.

Then there was the whole rock chick thing. I would say it really came in with Bon Jovi, Guns n Roses, Poison and Motley Crue, because the 80s chicks watched the bands’ music videos on MTV and then tried to copy the style of the girls in the videos. I remember trying to copy Tawny Kitean’s look from the Whitesnake video (white heels, crazy big hair, white dress) and many of the Motley Crue girls from the videos. In real life, the girls who were actual fans wore the band t-shirts and some levi’s. The crazy rocker chick look came from those videos, where the women were overly styled. As far as it going out of style, it went out when the hair band music became played out. When grunge started really gaining momentum in 1993 was when the look went totally out.

There was a goth sort of fashion back then, as you probably know. From what I recall, the shoes were either: Creepers (low) Doc Martens (high) or black converse. Skinny black jeans or Dickies on some kids. Red lips on girls, lots of black eye liner on the girls, but no one knew how to do their brows. The guys wore trenchcoats and had hair over one eye, sometimes wore hats, and some ventured into a hybrid of punk fashion (Sid Vicious chains, safety pinned denim jackets with patches, spiked hair) Everyone had a cigarette hanging out of their mouth.

The 80s fashion carried over a little bit into the 90s. Half of the girls still had big sprayed 80s hair and perms. The other half were starting to straighten their hair and flip it to one side and wear big hoop earrings (see: Kelly Bundy from Married With Children (hair.) The pale pink lip was also carried over from the mid eighties and late eighties (about half the girls still wore that color) while the other half started wearing a darker lip. A heavy brow was still in fashion (see: Beverly Hills 90210 first and second seasons for all hair/clothing that was from 1990 91). Scrunchie socks and L.A. Gear shoes carried from late eighties to early nineties. The only neon that carried over from what I saw was from nail polish on some girls.

Back to work!

Til next time

Saturday, March 4, 2017

What was it like being a teen in the 80s?

I can only speak for the second half of the decade: It was all about the phone still, but the problem was, your whole family shared the phone. It was a land line. If a boy called my house, my whole family would know about it. If you wanted to talk to your friends, you would call their family land line, their mom would answer, and you would have to say “Is Jenny there?” and speak with her mother or brother or father before getting her on the phone. That was hard for parties, because you had to call people to find out where they were. There was no texting, no GPS to find the party, no way to tell each other if the cops had shown up to the party, no way to get any message to anyone, unless you pulled your car over and used a pay phone. The parties were still crazy and epic, but they happened due to word of mouth most of the time.
As far as music, it was a big part of everyone’s life. We all had our record collections (which then became cassette tape collections, and then in the 90′s became CD collections.) A lot of us didn’t have the money to buy a record, so we had to get a tape recorder, and record songs off the radio (this is where almost all of my music came from.)
When you liked someone and wanted to date/go out with them, you had to get your friend to go talk to their friend (or them.) You couldn’t direct message or text anyone. A lot of times people wrote physical notes on pieces of paper, but that was risky. There was a lot more talking in person.
Teenagers snuck out of the house, smoked, some did drugs or dealt drugs ,hooked up, had eating disorders, were suicidal, were moody, same kind of things as today. There were a lot of subcultures and kids dressed according to what music they liked sometimes (Punk, Heavy Metal, Glam Rock, Skaters, New Wave) and other times they just dressed in the fashion of the day (Preppy). We were all into “Videos” on MTV— they were really outlandish and over the top and we got a lot of our fashion choices from them.
There were TONS of bullies at all of my schools, and they were never stopped by teachers. Kids would get beat up, harassed, thrown into trash cans, given “wedgies” and all kinds of other violent things. Adults saw it as “kids being kids.” If you were gay, you couldn’t come out and say it (unless you were in a group like mine, the “bad kids”). People called each other r*tarded, used the word f*g constantly. Kids were very, very cruel and it was hell when you were picked on. You had to deal with it, or fight the person. In the very early 80s, when I was six or seven, the school principals were allowed to “swat” the kids with a big paddle (on the butt) when they were rude to the teachers or didn’t listen. They actually could legally hit us in the public school system (California, USA.)
And speaking of discipline, parents “spanked” us with a) their hand, b) a wooden spoon or c) a belt (this is what my parents used.) If you didn’t eat your vegetables. or you talked back to your parents, it was completely normal for them to whip the ever-living tar out of you, even at a very young age. This usually stopped when we were old enough to fight them back=)

Until Next Time!

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Rude People: What To Do

Going to answer some questions on rude behavior today. Here we go!

How do you deal with rude people?
I usually cut them off and make a big production.
Them: **Rude statement** followed by other words
Me: “BOOOOOP” (makes sound of truck backing up) Back up. Baaaack up. Did you just say (repeat rude statement)? Am I understanding this correctly? Was this just said? You must’ve meant that wrong because I thought I just heard you say (repeat rude statement again.)
Them: “I just meant that—”
Me: Well you have a great way of saying it. That is something else. Wow.
Other times it is not socially acceptable to be as buck wild. You have to take them aside afterward or write them an email. And say “I think I am taking this wrong, I hope I am— but you just said _______….Did you mean to say that? Because that is totally disrespectful and rude. But I know you are not like that, so I must be taking this wrong….You will normally get an apology right away.

One of my former close friends at school told everyone I am stalking her! What do I do? And why did she do this to me?

Oh hell no. You need to ghost this girl now. Just be gone. No contact.
Next step: Act like you don’t care, hold your head high at school. If someone says “I heard you are stalking “ ____” say,
“Who?” and stare at them and let there be an awkward silence.
Rinse and repeat. Just keep acting like you have no idea who that even is. If someone really gets aggressive and tries to call you out for being a stalker, say “If I were a stalker, I would as sure as sh*t not be stalking *her*. I would pick someone more interesting. Please.”
Do not talk to your friend anymore until this clears up. Cut her off. Girls have a hard time being friends in threes— they always want it to be two people, and your old friend chose the other girl, probably because she is shiny and new. BUT: Best believe, your old friend and other girl will get into a falling out at one point, and your old friend will try to come running back to you.

Why are people so rude these days? It seems out of control. People don't even give up their seat on public transportation any more!

People raised with very strict parents in the 1950s, grew up and went way easier on their kids. Didn't teach them the old school manners. such as giving up your seat. I’ll bet many of these young adults have never even heard of that. Since the 80s, more women work (and rightfully so, no shade here) and are not with their kids to yell at them when they are rude. When I grew up, (raised by the people who had strict parents in the 50s) I was taught nothing about manners. My parents were rebelling against the formalities of their parents. I was never taught about giving up your seat to the elderly/disabled, etc on a bus or train, let alone much of anything else. Had I not sought out this information for myself, I would have not known to teach my son to offer his seat. And I suspect this is how many in my generation have become. The kids I grew up with in the 70s and 80s stayed home alone because they had two working parents, or they came from broken and chaotic families, where manners had fallen to the wayside. Then true manners started to phase out when those kids (and I) grew up and had children. Just my thought.

What was it like in the 70s?

What was it like in the 70s? Well let me tell you!
In the 70s, there was a lot of folk music, singer/songwriter type of music around my house. Cat Stevens, Van Morrison, leftover Beatles albums, Fleetwood Mac, Simon and Garfunkel— that was the background of my 70s life. The homes were decorated in browns, oranges, olive greens and golds. The decor was so ugly in that decade! Lots of shag carpeting, the whole thing. People didn’t really know that much about nutrition, so for dinner we ate canned vegetables, things like Hamburger Helper and other “mix” dinners, drank “Tang” in the morning (sugar water) and ate cereal that was straight sugar.
We were always in the sun, and instead of sun screen, people wore tanning oil, to get even more tan. Little kids were always playing in the front yard, running through the neighborhoods. We never wore seatbelts in cars. If your parents stopped the car too hard or turned a corner too quickly, you went flying. No helmets when you rode a bike- if you fell off too hard, you would crack your teeth or even your head. Most of the time, kids just got really scraped up; lots of cuts and gashes and bandages. But you still got back up and kept going. When we got sick, we rarely if ever, were given antibiotics or even brought to a doctor. We had to lay in bed and wait it out.
What else…there were no computers or cell phones of course— and no GPS, so if your parents wanted to take the fam on a trip, they had to get out a map and look at the map to figure out where they were going. Everyone had a “Thomas Guide” in their care (a book of maps). Every house had one phone, attached to the wall, and if someone called your house to talk to you, they had to talk to your mother first and ask if you could talk. Then your mother would say either yes, or no, and call you to the phone if needed.
Those were the days...
*picture property of someone cool

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Gilmore Girls: TheyAreTalkingTooFast

I love books, the East Coast (is that supposed to be capitalized?), huge mugs of coffee, small towns and beautiful displays of food. Oh- and prep schools, I am obsessed with all things Ivy League and the seasons, and quirky relationships. But I am still on the fence about Gilmore Girls.

I did not watch the series when it first came out in what, 2000? I was busy, trying to make a living, I believe I was waiting tables and struggling in my hometown of Los Angeles. I remember trying to get into it, because I did like Dawson's Creek and Felicity, and all of those sorts of shows. But I couldn't get into Gilmore Girls because I was so irritated at the fast talking and how unrealistic their  conversations seemed. I cringed so hard. And the parents-- couldn't stand Emily Gilmore, just the worst actress ever. And Paris Gellar: Love the actress on How to Get Away with Murder. HATE her acting on Gilmore Girls. The lines themselves are not bad, it is the over-acting, the yelling from both Paris and Emily that I can do without. They give me anxiety.

I am now on season four and Lorelei has grown on me, although she talks way too fast and has way too many outfit changes for someone who is not as rich as her parents. I would like to see her wear the same coat. dress or sweater more often. Wait-- no-- I would hate that is the reason I could not watch Land of the Lost.

Rory is okay. She seems well adjusted and I like looking at her life and her loves. I am going to commit to the next few seasons as background shows for when I am working on my laptop, and if it has picked up and won me over at that point, you will be the first to know. If not? Let me be the person to tell you that you are not missing out if you missed this show the first time around. However, the sets are beautiful. If you like the feeling of a small town that is decorated lavishly for every season, and if you want a cozy and quirky cast in the background while you do something else? Watch this show on Netflix.

Edited to Add:

I am now on season six (I have forwarded through any scene with Sookie, Lane, Luke, Kirk, Taylor and even Lorelei)--and this has improved the show greatly. While I still consider Rory mealy-mouthed (is that a word?) and passive-aggressive, I am much more entertained by her Yale years. She gets a new boyfriend (Logan Huntzburger) and it makes the show far more watchable. Other things: In my fast-forwarding I have seen that Lorelei has worn her pink coat several times. So there is that. I have also come to love Emily Gilmore. Yes, I just said that. There is an episode in season six that makes the whole series worth it. If you keep watching, both Emily and Paris will stop yelling. The show also cuts back and forth between cozy and fancy, which is much better in my opinion. I will let you know if anything changes with further watching!