Saturday, April 15, 2017

Parties! What to do, what to say, when to stop...

Let's talk Parties! Questions and answers are below:

I want to be invited to parties at my college, but I am scared I won't know what to do when I am there...

You have to loosen up, then it will happen. Don’t put too much weight on it. In your head, just tell yourself, “so what…this is just a gathering of drunk people, and none of them are even thinking about me, they are all in their own brains right now.” If there is a party going on, and it looks relatively public, walk in with some beer (if you can get it, hopefully you are of age in your town.) Anyone bringing food or alcohol to a party is most always welcome. Just hold it up and mouth “Where should I put this?” to whomever is in charge. Chances are, they will flag you in, and point to some ice chest somewhere. And then you will be in.

It is actually easier to be around people at a party, because they are loosened up and most likely have been drinking. You can say “any one want a beer?” and people will say “Me” and you can hand them one. That is how to start. Then just chat with whomever. Don’t be afraid of girls. In your head, tell yourself they are lucky to be talking to you. Let them do the talking. Ask them about themselves and let them talk. Then excuse yourself, and go somewhere else. They will wonder why you left. Just say “Anyone want a drink? I’m going to get one…” and either come back if they seemed interested or move on. Do this all around the party. Do not get too drunk, or, don’t even drink at all if you don,t want to. Trust me, once you see how foolish most people behave at parties, you will want to live again. You will say “Is that all there is?! I cant believe I was afraid of THAT.”

I'm a dude. How do I behave at a party?

Just go and act normal, don’t act too eager to talk to the girls, just give them a little head nod, like a “what’s up” sort of thing. You don’t really have to do anything at a party, there is no crazy rules so don’t psych yourself out too hard. In your head, tell yourself that they are lucky that you even came to this party. If you see any girls making eye contact with you, go over there and talk to them. Just chat with them , what’s your name, etc. They will ask you questions back. If it gets awkward, just say “Well I’m going to go get another drink— anyone want anything?” and then leave. If they are still looking at you or making eye contact when you come back by, they like you. If they are turned away, keep walking. As far as drama, just don’t cause any, lay low, stay in the background this time. When you go to more, you will get the hang of it.

I dont drink or do drugs. Can I still have fun at parties?

Yes, and not only that, you will 1) Not throw up in front of someone you find attractive 2) not get all sloppy and sweaty and say stupid things 3) not kill someone driving home (or get a DUI) and 4) remember who you talked to and what was said. I remember going to parties looking great, but by the time the party ended and I was done drinking, my makeup was smeared, I was stumbling, my breath was awful and I had regretted at LEAST one thing I said. All of that because I was too shy to go sober and have to deal with talking to people I didn’t know. If you can go to a party sober, it is a great skill to learn. 

When I was younger and offered drugs, I would say “I don’t want you to waste your money, no thanks”— Trust me, drugs are expensive and most people don’t want to give them away for free anyway. If you aren’t interested in them, it will be more for them. I never had anyone find that strange. If anything, they would look at me and say “That’s cool” or “Good for you,” and then do the drug themselves.

How can I make sure my party is safe?

Make sure that no one drives afterward— I sometimes post the number for taxi cabs/ Uber/car services in the restroom, so people will call it while they are in there. I also sometimes hire designated drivers to be at the party to take people home afterward, if they are all from my neighborhood.