Wednesday, March 15, 2017

"I Hate High School...Help"

Going to answer some questions for some teens today!

How do I be "tough?"

Walk tall, shoulders back. Don’t move out of the way for other people when they are walking toward you, make them move. Look people straight in the eye when they are talking to you. Don’t just talk to talk (you probably don’t, because you are seen as quiet and shy). You might have to wait, but there will be a moment where you will get to show people you are tough. It might be standing up to someone who is messing with someone else, it might be standing up for yourself, taking a stand in some way. Tough people don’t try too hard, they don’t care and they don’t appear eager to prove anything. So just wait until the opportunity presents itself.

I feel like I don't know who I am. How do I start to figure this out?

Well, you should figure out what you stand for, and what you are against. You should figure out things that comfort you (the ocean? The color green? certain music?) and things that repel you (certain smells, certain music, places, etc.) Try and figure out who you admire and why, because those traits are probably things you want to be one day. Ask yourself what makes you happy and what makes you sad. Think about places that made you feel at home. What movies do you love? Think about why. What are the messages in them? What are the feel of them? These are clues. Then you can start narrowing down what you want in the future, what kind of job you want to go into.

I messed up in high school with grades, the law, and everything else.  People are scared of me now, I have no one to talk to. How can I start over?

Okay well you are definitely going through a rough time, and it sounds like you are taking it out on other people (they could deserve it for all I know, no judgement here.) So what I would do first, is try to reign it back in, get a hold of your temper and impulses and make sure you don’t do anything that could get you arrested. That is first and foremost. Then, start thinking about the grades. Sounds like you have been distracted so you couldn’t concentrate on school for a minute there. As far as people to talk to, that will come. People might be afraid of you right now. They need to know that you are not really a bad person, and they don’t know yet. I had a terrible, terrible high school life. I thought I wouldn’t even live past it. Not only did I live past it, but I became wiser because of it. All of the stuff you are going through now will make you stronger and better, if you can get it under control. Do not give up on yourself. And if it makes you feel any better, I never saw any of the kids from my high school ever again. Maybe one or two in passing, but the rest? Nope. Made all new friends. You will make new friends when you get jobs when you are older. You will even end up with roommates and relationships from the jobs you will get in a few years. So don’t worry, this will pass.

My friends aren't inviting me to things! They did something without me...

It might not even be anything you did wrong, they are just vibing together as a little group. Sometimes people are hanging out together and say “Hey, we should go to ___ next week” and they make a plan. They don’t say “Oh wait….we forgot to invite (insert name of other friends who they still like but who weren't in the conversation that day). I wouldn’t take it as something bad. But I would start to make my own plans and invite them, or, maybe completely different friends to do things. I wouldn't sit and wait for further invitations to hang out.